


Nicotine [South Park Oneshots]

by Antispedicey2



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Disturbing Themes, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Offensive content, One Shot, POV Female Character, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, Smut, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, Wine-Drunk Randy is best Randy, creek - Freeform, dude - Freeform, south park - Freeform, this is so sad alexa play despacito
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-06-08 05:34:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15236469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antispedicey2/pseuds/Antispedicey2
Summary: South Park x Reader Oneshots~ Sorry about the tag abuse ~Feel free to comment requests!Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and aspects of the South Park universe presented in this book. Full ownership goes to the creators of South Park..





	1. Starlights [Kyle]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short little drabble to start off.  
> :D

You had always been enthralled with astrology. Stars, galaxies, the fact that every single person, no matter who they are, no matter their status on Earth, was still a tiny dot in comparison to the universe - something about that enchanted you, although you never pinpointed why. You just knew was that, to you at least, the vacuum of empty space and white noise surrounding the existence of everything was a thing of beauty, a marvellous expanse that should to be treasured.

Kyle had always known of your fascination with astrology, and he admired every bit of your attraction to it. The way your face would light up passion when you talked about constellations, or the way you glowed under the moonlight he saw you under so frequently, when you would sneak out to watch the stars late at night, or the enthusiasm you had towards the deep enthusiasm you had towards the wonders of that void around the earth, the way your breath hitched when you caught a glimpse of a shooting star. It was fascinating to him, the way you had so much passion and dedication to something most people took for granted.

* * *

 

You inhaled deeply as you surfaced above the cold water, eyes slightly stinging from the salty liquid, but you didn’t mind. You looked above you, and became immersed in the pools of beauty that made up the mesmerising night sky. A warm hand entangled with yours, bringing a sweet tingle only one person’s touch could give you; a tingle only Kyle’s touch gave you.

"It's gorgeous,” you said, eyes fixed on the display of light above the two of you.

"Yeah," Kyle sighed, "but not as beautiful as you."

You looked over to him, your eyes locking with his. You swore his smile could light up the whole galaxy.

You walked towards the shore of the beach, fingers intertwined. He led you across to the grass, sand rubbing between your toes as you walked to your blanket. The two of you laid down on the blanket, his arm locked around your waist with a grip like iron, as if it were sewn in place.

Kyle held onto you tightly. You were the most precious thing in his life, and he had to protect you, even when there was nothing to protect you from.

He could see the excitement in your eyes as you eagerly stared at the sky. You’d been waiting for this eclipse for a long time; You both had.

* * *

 

The eclipse should be starting any minute now, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. He was perfect. Every detail, every line, everything about him was perfect in its own way. As you tore your eyes from the beautiful boy, the eclipse began.

He kept his eyes locked on you. Your mouth fell agape in amazement as the eclipse started, seemingly radiating energy and beaming happiness.

You tore your eyes from the eclipse and looked over at Kyle. In confusion, Kyle opened his mouth to speak. But you spoke before the words had the opportunity to leave his mouth.

“I love you more than anything, Kyle. More than space. More than the galaxy. To the edge of the infinite universe,” you whispered, his breath warming your face as the two of you stared at each other.

“I love you too, you beautiful nerd,” he replied, burying his face into your neck.

You ran your fingers along the soft skin of his cheeks, and returned your attention to the sky. That endless expanse in which you formed a bond with your love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed :)


	2. Bullets [Stan]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Contains spoilers for Season 22 Episode 1 - don't read if you haven't watched it yet :)  
> This hurt my heart to write. I'm sorryyyy :(  
> ALSO! THE FIRST EPISODE OF SEASON 22.  
> WHAT THE FUUUUCKKKKKK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves! I'm awfully sorry for not updating and leaving you with only one chapter. I've been loaded with schoolwork recently - I've had 15 assessments over the last week and have been swamped with other miscellaneous homework. I know it's not really an excuse, but I'm finished with school for now! We have a two week break, so expect a good few updates!  
> Anyways, enjoy!

Throughout his life, Stan had romanticised death on numerous occasions. Whether it be his goth phase, where his words became coated with darkness and sorrow. His depressive episode, or his ‘aspergers’ where he’d lost all will to go on, seeing only a world filled with shit. His group had been through many near death situations. But the reality of the prospect of death was nothing like the 15 year old had ever imagined. Being face to face with the harsh, bitter cold silence of nothingness.

* * *

  _Gunshots rained throughout the school, but as per usual, no one paid attention._

_“Man, fuck fractions. I probably failed the new test too. I just don’t understand how the hell to work them out. They make no sense.” Stan sighed as he slung his bag over his shoulder and followed Kyle out of the classroom, with (Y/N) close behind him._

_“Me neither. They’re confusing as balls.” (Y/N) responded as she put her hand on Stan’s shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. Stan could always count on his girl to make him feel better. The three students walked in a line down the hallway, (Y/N)’s hand in Stans as Kyle explained fractions a little. And then boom. Stan dropped (Y/N)’s hand from his as his shoulder jerked back, before he collapsed to the ground. Slurred voices of Kyle and (Y/N) piercing his ears as the world became faint and dark, and sound became muffled and fuzzy._

_“Stan! Stan stay with me! Don’t go to sleep!” (Y/N) cried as she fell next to him on the ground._

_“Stan, you need to stay awake.” Kyle yelled as he checked Stan over. Stans eyes began to droop, and he fought to keep them open. “No! We’re losing him! He’s falling unconscious!” Kyle’s voice faded to silence. (Y/N) shook Stans shoulders in an attempt to wake him up, but it was no use._

_“We gotta get him out of here. Get him to an ambulance.” Kyle slung one of Stans arms over his shoulder and picked him up. “Grab his other side.”_

_(Y/N) nodded frantically as she helped Kyle hold Stan up._

_“Oh god, he’s losing so much blood.” (Y/N) tried to stop the tears spilling from her eyes as she held her hand over the hole in Stan’s chest, putting compression on it, but the blood seeping through her hand didn’t cease even a little._

_Kyle kicked open the door at the entrance of the school open, his vision blurring as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. “We need help! Our friend’s been shot!”_

* * *

You sat beside the hospital bed, not taking your eyes off of Stans comatosed form. Your mind numb, but yet filled with worry. You wondered where Randy and Sharon were, when they would show up - but they never did. You’d heard from Shelly that they’d gone out on a date that night actually.

“Honey, I know he’s important to you, but visiting hours ended 2 hours ago. I’ve already let you stay way longer than allowed, but you have to leave now. My shift’s about to end.” the nurse you’d befriended over many days spend in that hospital.

“I don’t want to leave him. What if he wakes up and i’m not here!? He’ll be alone. He needs me, Nurse Goodly! He needs me!” you felt tears threaten to well up in your eyes.

“He’ll be okay, (Y/N). He most likely won’t wake up in the next few hours anyway. If he does, I’ll make sure Nurse Collins calls you, okay?”

You sighed, “Okay. Make sure he calls me straight away.” you stood up and hugged Nurse Goodly, and turned towards the door. You glanced back at Stan with a pained expression, before shoving your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and leaving the hospital.

* * *

“(Y/N)! What’s wrong?” Stan cried, but she didn’t turn around. She kept walking through the empty hallways of the ICU at Hells Pass. She stopped abruptly, looking through one of the windows of the door, letting out a choked breath.

“Stan…” she mumbled, before gathering herself and walking through the door.

“I’m right here. Why aren’t you listening to me? Babe-” Stan stopped as his hand went through (Y/N)’s shoulder. His eyes widened, and he held up and studied his now shaking hands. As he snapped back to reality, he ran into the room that (Y/N) had gone into. He saw her grasping the hand of - of his unconscious body.

“What the fuck-” he gasped at the sight. “But I-I’m here. But I’m there. What is going on?!”

“You’re having an out-of-body experience, Stan.” a familiar voice looms behind me.

“You were shot in one of the school shootings. Your body is in a coma, but your spirit has left your body. It happens when people are close to death.”

“Kenny?” Stan’s voice quivered as he turned to face the blond boy, “What do you mean I got shot? What are you doing here? How are you here?”

“I’m dead, Stan.” he replied nonchalantly.

“You’re dead?! Holy shit, dude!”

“You need to stay strong, Stan. Keep surviving.” Kenny leaned to the side and looked at (Y/N), “She needs you. Don’t give up.”

Stan turned back to the (H/C)ette girl, observing her with love and sorrow filling his soft blue orbs.

“And Kyle said hello, he couldn’t make it today. He had to mind Ike.” she let out a chuckle, “Cartman says hey too. Everyone misses you. Kenny- he died, _again_. But uh- you wouldn’t remember him dying before anyway. He missed you too.”

Stan turned back to the blond boy, who was smiling.

“She’s the only one who remembers.” Kenny sighed, “You’ve got a good one there, Stan. You gotta stay strong. For her.”

“Ken- I don’t know what to do. I don’t know _how_ to stay strong.”

“Don’t give up, Stan. I believe in you.” Kenny stepped towards Stan, placing a hand on the shoulder of the ravenette boy. “I’ll see you soon, man.”

Stans jaw gaped slightly as Kenny’s form faded into thin air. He turned back to his girlfriend, who was holding his comatosed body’s hand, rubbing circles on his hand with the pad of her thumb whilst brushing his dark locks out of his face.

“Don’t worry (Y/N). I won’t leave you.”

* * *

You and Kyle were on your way to the hospital, just like the two of you did most days after school. However, you had a strange feeling today. An odd sense like something was different.

Walking into the doors of the empty white-walled hospital you greeted the staff before you proceeded to Stan’s room. 

Before you could, a rush of doctors flooded into his ward, you became lost in the blur. You stood at the door and watched in horror as they tried to revive him - He'd flatlined. The efforts were to no avail - he was gone. 

“No….” you mumbled as you rushed into the ward. Doctors tried to pull you away, but you struggled against them. He couldn’t die. He couldn't.

“No, I'm not ready! (Y/N), I’m sorry!” Stan said as he left his broken body behind, but of course you could not hear him. He wrapped his arms around your shaking form, letting out tears of his own as he faded away, leaving behind nothing but a wisp of cold and a memory.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry  
> This was rushed oof - I'm not the best writer haha   
> Anyway, thanks for reading :)  
> word count: 1242


	3. Spooked [Cartman]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the start of spooky season, here's a (hopefully) cute lil' oneshot with everyone's favourite sociopath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in one day? Wowie!  
> (oof, I'm trying my best asdfgnlds)

You flung yourself face first into the plush cushions of Cartman’s sofa. He had, in your opinion, the softest couch ever, and you intended to take advantage of that today.

“Move, bitch.” Cartman’s voice broke you from your couch-mush trance, and he gave you a rather hard shove.

“Hey, fuck you. I was comfortable, asswipe.” you replied snarkily, sitting up as fatass took a seat next to you.

He began flipping through movies to watch whilst shoveling cheesy poofs into his mouth. You poked his puffed out cheek, laughing slightly as he glared at you. “Wanna watch a horror movie?”

“Hell yeah! No better way to kick off spooky season.” you smiled. You were a connoisseur of horror flicks, and watching one with the company of your long-time crush would be even better.

“Alright,” Cartman said in a way that you could practically hear the smirk in his voice, “How about _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_?”

“Bring it on, Cartman.” you said, smacking your fist into your chest a few times, “I can handle _ANYTHING._ ”

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” Cartman said, brushing crumbs off his chest, a smirk creeping to his face, but you took no notice.

* * *

 

“Oh my fucking god.” you gasped as Leatherface slaughtered yet another person. You were glad to not be squeamish - the gore that characterised slasher films was enough to make some sick to their stomachs. Not you, however.

Just as a really intense scene had you on the edge of your seat, you felt a breath on the back of your neck. You snapped your head around, “Cartman stop fucking with me, I swear-” But you were faced with the familiar masked figure you’d seen in the movie.

“Holy shit!” you jumped backwards, falling off the couch as the figure got close to you. They leaped over the couch and walked towards you, twirling a sledgehammer in their hands. You backed against the wall, muttering ‘what the fuck’ over and over. Your back pressed against the wall. The figure bent down to your level, their face directly over yours.

“Are you going to scream, little girl?” a gruff voice roominated from within the mask. You gulped, and tried to get as close to the wall as possible, pulling your head to the side. A low chuckle fell from their mouth, as they dropped their sledgehammer to their side.. But the laugh got louder, and more familiar. The figure pulled off their mask and it was- Cartman?

“Oh, you fucking asshole!” you shoved him before going back to the couch.

“Oh man-” he struggled to regain composure, “You fell for it. The look- the look on your face- it was priceless.”

You crossed your arms and sank into the couch.

“What’s wrong, (Y/N)? Are you _scared?_ ” Cartman mocked.

“What? Me? Scared? Pshh.” you replied whilst trying to control your shaking. It was only natural! Shock does that to people.

“Awww… I didn’t mean to upset you~” he said as he sat next to you on the sofa, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling your face towards his, “You’re just cute when you’re scared.”

You raised your eyebrows and stared into his soft heterochromatic eyes - god, you couldn’t stay mad at him for long.

“Screw you.” you mumbled, breaking your gaze. You turned your attention back to the movie, scooting away from Cartman, leaving him pouting slightly.

“Aw, come on. It was a joke.” you remained silent. “(Y/N), come on.”

You didn’t say anything, letting him wear himself out for a good 10 minutes before he gave up.

_Finally._

* * *

 

The two of you were watching your third horror movie of the night, and you hadn’t spoken a word to the pouting chubby boy since the first movie, much to his annoyance. Finally, he was fed up with the silent treatment. In a swift motion, he wrapped both arms around you, pulling you into his chest. You looked up at him, and he smirked cockily before looking back at the movie.

You sighed, turning your attention back to the movie also. You felt him press a kiss into your hair, and you smiled before wrapping your arms around him and cuddling into his soft form. He hugged you tighter, then pulling away and cupping your cheeks in his hands. He scanned your eyes, which were laced with surprise before giving his signature cocky smirk and pulling you into a passionate kiss.

“Wow. I- wow.” you mumbled before returning to snuggling into his chest.

“Yeah, I’m pretty amazing.”

“God, you’re so fucking stupid. I love you.” you sighed and felt his grip on you tighten, before he let out a chuckle.

“I love you too, bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Short and sweet (maybe? i dunno ahhhh)  
> I wanted to make this one purely because in my opinion, Cartman is ADORABLE.  
> Yes he's just a twisted, fucked-up, delusional little boy...  
> But he's the 10/10 most huggable sociopath •3•  
> Thanks for reading loves!  
> Word Count: 786


End file.
